


What the Moonlight Saw

by jiah



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiah/pseuds/jiah
Summary: Shishio has been defeated, and Kenshin has apparently given up any plans to start wandering again. But Kaoru feels vaguely dissatisfied with his gentle smiles and solicitude. Does Kenshin only care for her as he does for their other friends? Or is he just too gentlemanly to express the same yearning that runs through her veins? Can Kaoru, who wears her heart on her elegant sleeves, get Kenshin to reveal his true emotions?
Relationships: Himura Kenshin/Kamiya Kaoru
Comments: 12
Kudos: 52





	What the Moonlight Saw

**Author's Note:**

> All rights belong to the creators. 
> 
> This is my very first fic that I'm posting out to the world. Rurouni Kenshin has always been close to my heart, and recently I've been rediscovering it all over again, as well as some really good fics that inspired me to try and write my own. This story is set after the Kyoto arc, and I'm kind of pretending the Jinchuu arc doesn't exist. Not that I have anything against it, just didn't want to deal with it in this particular story. Also, I'm just learning my way around tags. 
> 
> I hope you like the story! Any feedback would be appreciated.

Kamiya Kaoru couldn’t sleep. 

Normally, she worked so hard — and shouted and laughed so hard, her friends would say — that she had no trouble falling asleep at night. Her soft black hair, finally freed from the loose embrace of her ponytail, would no sooner hit the mattress than her eyes would close and she would be dead to the world. Not so today. And Kaoru knew whom to blame. 

She sighed and turned over on her side. It made no sense blaming Kenshin for the thoughts swirling through her head, but it was easier to blame him than to confront those thoughts. Or rather — images. 

Her cheeks heated. Kaoru covered her face with her hands, trying to cool it down. But her hands were as hot as her flaming face. She was glad none of her friends were around to see it. She had blushed and stammered a hundred times around Kenshin that day, but Sano and Yahiko had given up commenting on it, aside from the odd smirk they threw her way sometimes. She had lunged at them too many times with her bokken, she guessed. She hoped. She really didn’t want it to be pity. 

Kamiya Kaoru had never been blessed with that amazing power some women seemed to have — a certain fox lady came to mind — of hiding her emotions behind a cold facade. She had never been able to hide her feelings. When she was angry, she lashed out — as much with her tongue as with her bokken, or any other object that lay at hand. When she was happy, only Misao could rival her exuberance. And when she was sad, she cried without caring about her surroundings. All her friends had always been able to read her moods perfectly well. But with Kenshin, she wasn’t so sure. 

On the one hand, he was always so solicitous. It was as if the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu had taught him, not just to read his opponents’ ken-ki and intentions, but his friends’ moods even before they themselves became aware of their feelings. Kaoru’s food was always ready when she was hungry, her clothes were washed, dried, and folded, and the house was always spic and span. If she was tired, he would somehow divine it and there would be a pot of tea ready for her before she realised she needed it. And yet — and yet — she clenched her fists angrily. Sano, Yahiko, the fox lady, hell, sometimes even Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan seemed to read her feelings for Kenshin. Their reactions ranged from amusement (Sano) to sly teasing (Megumi) to excitement (the kids) to fulsome support disguised as disgust (Yahiko). But the rurouni was the one person who seemed cheerfully oblivious of her feelings for him. 

It wasn’t fair, Kaoru mused. Megumi got to be cold and mature, and yet throw herself all over Kenshin, while she had to tiptoe around her own feelings in front of him. 

Initially, she had tried to dismiss it as just a crush on the wanderer who had saved her life and her dojo. Then she told herself it was just care and affection, the same as what she felt for Sano and Yahiko. But it was when Megumi entered their lives and started flirting incessantly with Kenshin that she had realised the darkness hemming her feelings. 

One day, Megumi had leaned over towards Kenshin while having tea and overbalanced. With his usual agility, the swordsman had caught her by the waist and straightened her, even as Megumi’s hands had clutched at his sleeve for balance, pulling his tunic off one shoulder in the process. They had both laughed, Kenshin in his unconcerned fashion and Megumi flashing him a knowing look — god knew she had enough of them — from behind her lashes. For a moment, her hand was resting on Kenshin’s bare chest. Then Megumi had tugged his tunic back into place with some joke about how she would rather wait to disrobe him in private. And then Kaoru had picked up the tea-cups and walked to the kitchen.

Kaoru had missed the concerned glances Sano and Yahiko had thrown at her, or Kenshin’s embarrassed attempt to bring the conversation around to other topics. She didn’t know Sano would later corner Megumi and shout at her, or that Megumi would retort that both Kenshin and Kaoru needed a hard push if they were to wake up to what everyone else knew. 

Kaoru didn’t know they all thought she had gone to the kitchen to hide her pain. That wasn’t quite it. Of course, she didn’t enjoy Megumi’s flirtations with Kenshin, and would never get used to her handling him so carelessly when she, Kaoru, had no such rights with him. But this time, it wasn’t just jealousy that had streaked across her heart like a sword wound. At that time, Kaoru didn’t know what it was, but she had to retreat to hide her trembling hands and the pounding in her heart. She still remembered the mental image of Megumi’s slender fingers splayed across Kenshin’s wiry, muscular chest — and the heat that had rushed, not to her face, but to other parts of her body. 

After that, she caught herself staring at Kenshin at odd times — when he was doing laundry, or cooking, or engaged in any other usual domestic activity. She wouldn’t admit it to herself at first, but she wanted to see him in disarray. She caught herself wondering how his bare shoulders would look and feel under her touch. How many scars criss-crossed over his back. How his slender but strong hands would feel over her body, or his delicate mouth on hers. 

After the battle with Shishio, she had had her wish in an unexpected way. Kenshin was unconscious and then feverish for a long time, and they had all tended him in turns under Megumi’s supervision. She had spent hours beside his mattress, but his frailty had undermined her in ways she couldn’t comprehend. She wanted to hug him tightly and never let go, and she wanted to treat him with utmost caution. She settled for just staring at him, at those wavy strands of red hair, the dry mouth which she would keep touching with a damp towel. 

But then he was fine again, and the sunshine in his smile began to tighten her stomach again in a new way. This was no adolescent crush, she was sure. She still craved his proximity, she still blushed at a twist of his lips or a stretch of his limbs, but there was more to it now. 

And sometimes Kenshin seemed to know it, though he acknowledged it only with a smile sunnier than usual, and an extra layer of softness in his voice. He seemed much more grounded after Kyoto. He had even started a herb garden in the back yard behind the dojo, and somehow this set Kaoru’s heart racing even more than his smiles. 

But Kaoru wished he were as transparent about his feelings as she was. Doubtless, he felt quite comfortable with her, and seemed in no danger of resuming his wanderings in the near future. But after almost losing him to Shishio, the near future wasn’t enough for Kaoru. She wanted to be sure about what he felt for her. 

She had waited for him to express it, though patience was not one of her virtues. But, apart from that deeper level of comfort he seemed to experience with them all, he betrayed nothing. Was it possible that he saw her as Sano probably did — as a wilful younger sister? But no, that was most definitely how he saw Misao, and his voice didn’t soften that extra degree when he spoke to her. Or was he just too much of a gentleman to show his feelings? That was what Kaoru had tested today. 

It had taken a great deal of bravery for Kamiya Kaoru, but then she had never lacked bravery. Or recklessness, as some people might call it. 

She had waited until Sano and Yahiko were off to town and Kenshin was washing dishes in the kitchen. Heart pounding so hard she feared his Battousai-senses would have heard it, she approached him with a teacup, as if she meant to wash it. Kenshin had turned around at her approach with a sunny smile and extended his hand for it. 

“This one will wash it, Kaoru-dono,” He had said, eyes and voice softening. 

She had swallowed. He kept looking at her guilelessly, and she had no excuse not to give him the teacup. But then, just before his fingers closed around the handle, she let go of it. And, almost at the same second, she dived for it, knowing it would be difficult to beat his god-like speed and keen reflexes. As it was, her fingers barely touched the cup before he caught it. 

In an ideal world, Kaoru would have fallen forward — much like Megumi that day — and Kenshin would have caught her and supported her against his chest. And then, by the pounding of his heart, she would know. And perhaps — who knew what possibilities would rise once they were in each other’s arms? 

But it wasn’t an ideal world. Kaoru cried out hard as her forehead struck Kenshin’s, eliciting a squawk of “Oro” from the rurouni. Kaoru unbalanced and, instead of falling towards Kenshin, fell backward and landed on her butt. 

“Kenshin, you idiot!” She shouted, willing her eyes not to tear up at this humiliation. It was completely unwarranted, of course, but Kenshin fell to his knees and started spluttering apologies at her. She had retired in high dudgeon, cheeks aflame. 

And yet, the memory of this catastrophe wasn’t the only thing keeping her awake. As Kenshin knelt in front of her, his loose tunic had fallen slightly apart, giving her a perfect view of his slender neck and the the top of his chest. 

“Kenshin, you idiot,” she whispered again now. 

Living and travelling together with so many exuberant people, they had all caught accidental glimpses of one another in various states of undress. There was of course the notorious incident when Kenshin had run into her bathroom, convinced she was trying to kill herself. But that was so long ago, when she barely knew him. She had helped Megumi tend Sano and Yahiko, as well as Kenshin, when they were injured, but that was somehow different. Sano had once walked in on her and Megumi in a hot spring, but they had knocked him out immediately with a flurry of rocks, and the former street-fighter had professed a memory loss under their narrowed gaze when he woke up. As for Kenshin himself, Kaoru had seen his tunic ripped to shreds after the Kyoto incident. 

And yet, that day, in the comforting intimacy of the kitchen, just a glimpse of his bare chest had sent goosebumps all over her body. She didn’t know how she had made it through the rest of the day. When Sano and Yahiko came back for dinner, she was relieved to be distracted for a bit. But the image kept returning to her mind and, with it, other images. Megumi’s hand on Kenshin’s chest slowly metamorphosed into her own hand. Moving across his chest. Slipping inside his tunic. Kaoru wondered how Kenshin would have reacted if she had actually dared to do so. Would he have spluttered “oro” again, as he often did when Megumi flirted with him? Would he have blushed as deep as Kaoru herself? Or would he have smiled with his incredibly soft eyes and leaned in to touch his mouth to hers? 

She couldn’t bear it any more. She had gone to find out Kenshin’s feelings, and had hers exposed once again. 

As she lay in the dark, she heard soft snores coming from Yahiko’s room. There was no noise from Kenshin’s. Was he awake, clutching his sakabatou as he sometimes stayed after a bad dream? He thought nobody knew those nightmares were increasing in frequency, but Kaoru had learnt to recognise the faintest wrinkle on his brow or the ghost of dark circles under his eyes on the mornings he woke up from those dreams that tormented him. 

Her heart constricted at the thought of him in pain and turmoil. That unwelcome image somehow drove out all other concerns. She scrambled up, clutching the folds of her nightgown tighter, and tiptoed to the sliding door. She slid it slightly apart and listened. Yahiko’s snores were the only noise. Noiselessly, she padded over to Kenshin’s room. She wasn’t sure what she was planning to do once she reached there. But then she saw that his door was open and his room was empty. 

For a second, Kaoru feared the worst. Had he taken off again on his wanderings? She grit her teeth and shook her head firmly. No, he wouldn’t do that, not without a word to any of them. Then, was he in danger? Forgetting she was only dressed in a nightgown, forgetting even to wear sandals, Kaoru flit across the house. Would he be in the dojo? She wondered and turned to see the open backdoor. 

Moonlight streamed in through the doorway as she approached, and then her eyes adjusted to the dark to see Kenshin sitting on the back porch, leaning his head on the sakabatou he clasped in a tight embrace as if it were his only possession. Then Kaoru remembered it almost was. Her heart constricted again and she yearned to fold Kenshin into an embrace. 

They had embraced twice before — once, when he was bidding her farewell on his journey to Kyoto, and again when he had fallen into her arms on his return from battle. Neither of them had brought up those instances afterwards, but they were burned into Kaoru’s memory. She often wondered whether Kenshin thought of them the same way. 

She gazed at the man sitting on her porch. Once, he was the hitokiri of legend. Once, he was a wanderer who protected everyone alike with his sakabatou. Now, he was just Kenshin. He was in her home, and he was tired. 

She moved slightly — she could not have said whether it was to retreat or to approach him. His head moved marginally, and she realised he had been awake, had probably heard her approach. 

“Kaoru-dono?” His voice was gentle, barely above the whisper of the wind. 

Kaoru shivered, though it was not cold. Now that she knew he was alright, all those images that had taunted and tormented her throughout the day raced back into her mind. She became keenly aware that she was wearing only her nightgown. 

Kenshin tilted his head back and smiled at her. His smile was as brilliant in the moonlight as it was in the sunlight. 

“Did this one worry you?” He asked. 

Kaoru began to automatically shake her head, then stopped. This was her chance. She had to speak to him. Cautiously, she approached. 

He straightened and kept the sakabatou aside, his attention on her. He turned partly towards her. Kaoru settled down on the steps beside him. 

“Kenshin…” she looked up into his eyes that looked wise and slightly sad. 

“Did you think this one had taken off again?” His voice was quiet. There was no judgement in his voice, only calm acceptance. 

Kaoru exhaled. “Initially,” she admitted. “But I knew you wouldn’t go off without telling any of us.” 

She felt an imperceptible change in Kenshin’s posture. It was as if he had relaxed, but without any physical evidence of having been tense in the first place. 

Kaoru looked up at the moonlit sky. “Then I worried you were in some trouble, Kenshin.” 

“Ah.” She glanced over to see him gazing at the moon as well. “This one regrets having worried you, Kaoru-dono. Now and always.” 

“Is that it?” She blurted out before she could stop herself, “Is that why you don’t express anything, Kenshin? Because you are afraid to worry me?” 

He looked at her, startled. Kaoru blushed again under his sudden scrutiny, but determined to get it all out. She said, “Kenshin, you never express your emotions with us.” When he opened his mouth to argue, she amended, “With me.” 

She was rewarded with the sight of his mouth falling open. For a moment, he gaped at her, and then he closed it. Understanding filled his eyes, but instead of the mortification Kaoru expected, she felt only the warm flush of being completely seen. It was as if, in that instant, her soul was bared to him. And then Kenshin bowed his head. 

“This one is truly sorry, Kaoru-dono,” He whispered. His red bangs hung over his eyes, shielding them — and his soul — from Kaoru’s eyes. 

Then he looked up, and Kaoru’s throat constricted at the play of emotions in his eyes. There was pain, definitely, and something far darker and wilder raging just behind the gentleness she was so used to. 

“What you said is true, Kaoru-dono,” he said, unsmiling, and now Kaoru almost wished she had left well enough alone. He gazed deeply into her eyes. “This one has valued his place in this household so greatly that this one feared to jeopardise it.” 

“How—?” She stammered, nonplussed. 

Kenshin turned fully towards her and leaned forward. This time, his tunic did indeed fall apart from neck to waist, but Kaoru barely registered it. She was fixated on Kenshin’s face, on the intensity of his gaze. 

“Yet this one never thought of how Kaoru-dono would take it.” He said, his tone so low she had to strain to hear him. “This one meant it when he said this is home.” 

Kaoru’s traitorous heart pounded. Did he mean what she thought he meant? She waited, but he seemed to have nothing more to say. His eyes, fixed on her face, spoke volumes though, but Kaoru was wary of reading the language of eyes. She had been wrong before. 

“Kenshin,” she shifted so that she too was facing him fully. 

Kenshin, that master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, must have read her intentions before she opened her mouth again. His tone dipping even lower, so that his voice came out deeper, he said, “This one has nothing to offer but this sakabatou.” And then he cast his eyes down, as if afraid. Himura Kenshin was afraid. Afraid of being rejected by the woman who had come, bundling up her courage, to profess her love. 

Kaoru lost the thread of her thoughts. She whispered, “Kenshin, you idiot”. 

It was not the scolding tone she had used in the kitchen, nor was it the passionate tone she had used in her bedroom. It was low, almost as low as his own, and gentle, and bubbling with just a hint of laughter. 

Kenshin looked up, eyes wide. Kaoru didn’t need a lexicon to read the hope in his eyes. 

She wanted to tell him nothing mattered — not his past, not the dangers they had faced or the dangers that lay ahead. That this was his home, not just this house and this dojo, but here in her heart. She wanted to ask him if he really hadn’t seen the yearning in her eyes every time she looked at him. But she didn’t. Instead, she leaned over and took his hand. For a moment, she had to pretend to look at his hand so that she could control the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes. But when she looked up again, she saw his eyes were shining as well, and it was not just moonlight that had pooled in them. 

“Kenshin,” she whispered, losing herself in their depths. 

“Kaoru…” He leaned closer. The hand that was not clasped in hers relinquished the sakabatou and wound around her shoulders, pulling her closer. Before he could articulate the “dono”, she had reached up, pulled his head down, and closed her mouth over his. 

Kaoru didn’t know where she got the courage for that act. And for a moment, Kenshin seemed to have frozen. His hands stilled, one still around her shoulder, the other which she had just released frozen in the air. A beat passed, then another, and Kaoru was about to pull back and run away to her room to hide her mortification, when she felt him sigh. Kenshin’s free hand came to caress her hair. He tilted his face slightly, and his lips parted and then came down on hers. 

Now Kaoru was in deep waters, and her heart was pounding madly. She had no idea where to take things after this, but Kenshin’s hand in her hair had tightened ever so slightly, holding her in place, guiding her as he kissed her. His mouth was gentle and careful, but then she felt his other hand on her spine through the thin fabric of the nightgown, she felt the warmth of his chest under her fingers, and she shivered. Kenshin’s fingers tightened in her hair, and he crushed her to him even as he pulled back slightly to bury his face in her neck. Kaoru caressed him, her hands moving over his back and his hair of their own volition. He dipped her backwards, his hand on her spine supporting her weight, and then his other hand had moved from her hair down to her waist. Kaoru forgot to breathe. Her fingers tightened in his threadbare tunic. She shivered again, and then somehow his face was pressed against the bare skin of her throat, and she realised the top folds of her nightgown had fallen open when she felt his face between her breasts. Kaoru closed her eyes. A low moan escaped her. 

Kenshin tensed. He sat up abruptly, pulling her up with him. Dazed, she looked up at him, unaware of how appealing she looked to him with her dilated pupils and swollen lips. Her nightgown hung off one shoulder, exposing just the shadow of the bosom from which he had just wrenched his mouth away. 

Alarm filled her suddenly. He was too still. 

“Kenshin…” Her voice broke. 

“Kaoru-dono,” His voice was as ragged as hers. “This one is sorry. This one — can’t. Not now.” 

Her eyes grew wide in horror. He looked conflicted, then he gave a pained smile. “This one fears he will not be able to stop if we go any further.” 

Kaoru’s eyes darkened. “I don’t want to stop, Kenshin.” 

He swallowed. He looked a bit lost and much younger than his years. “I don’t want to stop either,” He whispered. 

She was struck dumb, partly by his admission, and partly by the verbal slip. Kenshin never spoke without the self-deprecatory pronoun. 

His eyes were stormy, but they were not the golden eyes of the hitokiri. He pulled back slightly, but without letting go of her. A small smile softened the curve of his lips as he looked down at her mutinous expression. 

“Himura Kenshin,” she said through gritted teeth, fire in her eyes, jabbing a finger at his chest, “Don’t you dare tell me to go back to my room.” 

He smiled, and it was as if the moonlight had brightened a thousand times. “This one wouldn’t dare.” 

Kaoru smiled victoriously and leaned in again towards him. He laughed softly and pulled back. “But it is true that you need to go back to sleep, Kaoru-dono. If you sit here, this one wouldn’t be able to keep his unworthy hands off you.” 

Her eyes flashed again. “What if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself, Kenshin?” 

He grinned widely now. “Oh, this one is aware.” She blushed, and he pulled her close for another kiss. She noticed that his hands in her hair were tighter, almost to the point of being painful, and his lips were pressed fiercely but chastely on hers. Then he pulled back again. His eyes met hers. She caught her breath. If ever she had complained that Himura Kenshin’s soul was hidden from her, she took it all back now. His need, his pain, his passion, his love shone through them. It was as if he had taken his soul and offered it to her, to do with it as she chose. 

“You have this one’s heart and soul, Kaoru-dono,” he said, his voice deep and husky with emotion, “Do you need to take this one’s dignity as well?” 

She paused, confused, in the midst of leaning in to slip off his tunic from his shoulders. 

He was still gazing at her with worship and pain warring in his eyes. “If this one were to slip up and do something dishonourable, this one would never forgive himself.” 

Dishonourable? Kaoru blushed to the roots of her hair. She had not been thinking, well, at least not with her brain, these past few minutes. Kenshin, on the other hand, had been thinking for both of them. She tried to hide her face in her hands, but Kenshin took her palms and pulled her gently into his arms. 

“This one doesn’t want to stop either,” He whispered. “But stop we will, at least for now. But that doesn’t matter, does it, Kaoru-dono?” 

She raised her head slightly, suddenly too shy to look up at him. He cupped her chin in one hand and tilted it up so that they were face to face. “Do you know why it doesn’t matter, Kaoru-dono?” 

Mesmerised by the light dancing in his eyes, and by the softness of his lips, Kaoru could barely articulate, “Why?” 

“Because,” he smiled again and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “We have forever.”

[The End]


End file.
